A divorce party, a viral photo, and rewriting a culture of silence – eShe

By Sonia Gupta

It was Mother’s Day 2021 when I first wrote openly about my divorce and the journey that led me there. My hands trembled as I shared the truth I had kept hidden for so long – about pain, endurance and finally liberation. I had no idea what would come of it, but I knew I was done with silence.

Then, in September 2021, a reporter reached out to me about my divorce party. What had started as a personal celebration quickly became a public conversation. My story was picked up, shared, and amplified – and just like that, my life changed.

Within hours, my inbox was overflowing. Thousands of women – and men – from around the world were sharing their stories, their secrets, their shame.

That’s when I realised: one story, one act of vulnerability, could ripple into a movement.

Silence as inheritance

Growing up South Asian, storytelling wasn’t about truth. It was about preserving image. We shared achievements, weddings, graduations. We didn’t talk about depression, divorce, or emotional trauma. We didn’t air our dirty laundry – especially not online. Especially not if you were a woman.

I learned early that keeping secrets was a survival skill. Smile for the family photo, even if you cried in the bathroom five minutes earlier. Stay in the marriage, even if it’s crushing you. Be the good daughter, the perfect mother, the ever-sacrificing woman.

So when I chose to speak out – really speak out – it wasn’t just about me. It was about rewriting a cultural rulebook.

My marriage had been unravelling for years. Emotional disconnection. Silent tears. Quiet resignation. But leaving wasn’t just a logistical decision – it was a cultural rupture.

I’ll never forget the day I sat across from my parents, heart pounding, voice trembling, as I whispered, “I think I want a divorce.” For a moment, there was silence – thick, suffocating silence. Their response: “But you are ruining our life.”

That sentence gutted me. It was more than disapproval. It was a crystallisation of everything I was up against: a culture that valued appearance over authenticity, endurance over mental health, and silence over truth. My pain, my children’s emotional safety, and my crumbling spirit were less important than what the neighbours might say.

My car became my refuge. I would sit in the driver’s seat in grocery store parking lots, gripping the wheel, crying silently. I had no words for the grief that was hollowing me out. I wasn’t weak; I was drowning in expectations I never signed up for. I was grieving the woman I was supposed to become and the life I was supposed to live.

It took over a decade for me to find the courage to file for divorce. Not because I doubted the need to leave, but because I wanted my parents on board. It took three more years to finally get divorced – three brutal years of court battles. And even then, the real battle was with shame. I had done the unthinkable in our community: I had chosen myself.

So I threw a divorce party. Not to be provocative. Not to be vengeful. But to reclaim joy. To say, “This, too, is worthy of acknowledgement.” To declare, “Freedom is worth celebrating.”

A viral idea

I posted one image. One caption. I expected a few comments. Instead, I woke up to thousands. Some people were horrified. Others inspired. But the loudest response came from those who finally felt seen.

Women and men messaged me from India, Pakistan, the UK, Canada, Australia. People in loveless marriages. Individuals stuck in cycles of abuse. Some terrified of being alone. Many who had never seen someone like them celebrate what they had been taught to hide.

Suddenly, I wasn’t alone. And neither were they. That’s the power of storytelling: it turns isolation into solidarity.

Divorce in South Asian culture is still taboo, especially for women. We are taught that marriage is sacred and leaving is shameful. That a woman’s value lies in how much she can endure.

But when we only celebrate endurance, we erase healing. We ignore the transformation that comes from truth.  

My story wasn’t about divorce; it was about liberation. And through it, I learned something sacred: the more we tell our truth, the more we give others permission to tell theirs.

A few weeks after the photo went viral, I received a message from a woman in her 60s. She wrote, “I stayed in a toxic marriage for 40 years. I thought it was too late for me. Your post gave me the courage to leave.”

I cried reading that. Because our stories don’t just belong to us – they become lifelines for others.

Rewriting my truth

In January 2022, I nervously attended my first professional event post-divorce. Just 15 minutes in, my ex walked in – with a woman who used to be my friend. I froze. Everything in me wanted to run. But I stayed. I straightened my crown, smiled, and stood my ground. That night, I chose to thrive.

But I wasn’t done learning. In February 2025, while preparing to speak at an International Women’s Day event, I collapsed. What began as a cough became pneumonia, Influenza B and a blood clot. I was put on life support. Doctors discussed my will with my teenage son. Even unconscious, I was still trying to show up for others. That was my final wake-up call.

I realised I had fought for my children, for justice, for freedom – but not for myself. That had to change. I began teaching my clients and myself: rest is not a luxury. Saying no is not selfish. Boundaries are lifelines.

A space for collective healing

For all its flaws, social media is a powerful tool for cultural change. It bypasses gatekeepers. It amplifies voices. It connects us across continents. In a world where silence is rewarded, sharing our truth online becomes a radical act.

Through my platform, It’s A Sonia Thing, I now help others tell their stories, to heal. To release shame. To find connection. To start again. Clients come to me not just for coaching, but for understanding. I’ve lived the questions they’re asking. I’ve felt the loneliness, the confusion, the fear of what people will think.

If you’re a South Asian woman reading this, aching under the weight of silence and cultural pressure, let me tell you this:

• Your truth is not too messy.
• You don’t need permission to speak.
• You are allowed to rewrite your story.
• You are not wrong for wanting more.
• You are not weak for needing rest.
• You are not selfish for choosing peace.
• Your freedom doesn’t require anyone else’s permission.

When we shift from secrecy to storytelling, we create new blueprints not just for healing, but for cultural evolution. Your story doesn’t need a perfect ending to be powerful. It just needs to be true. Write your truth. Share your photo. Say the thing no one else dares to say.

Because when we speak out, we don’t just break silence. We build bridges.

Sonia Gupta is a London-based speaker, coach, and founder of “It’s A Sonia Thing,” helping people heal from shame, divorce, and cultural silence through the power of storytelling.