How to achieve your goals
What happens next? Well, once you set a goal that is meaningful and doable for you it is best to take a “slow and steady” approach to change. Set goals that are realistic and achievable. Setbacks are inevitable and a behaviour can only be sustained if setbacks are addressed. Try to resist the urge to “go big or go home.” This is a common problem with New Year’s resolutions. We bite off more than we can chew. Stepwise goals are easier to achieve and easier to learn from.
How do you define success?
What are the markers of success? This is a question that is beginning to be better understood. In the past, our approach was to recommend a specific behaviour, like the ketogenic diet, running 10-kilometre fun runs, etc. We did our best to follow the rules. Barriers and setbacks were stressful and many of us ended up feeling like we had failed. Now, we have a better understanding of the formula for sustained behaviour change.
There are 3 outcomes that are associated with long term success:
- Adherence
By adherence, I don’t mean “Can you stick with the program?” I mean the opposite: “What behaviours can you do that you are able to stick with?” Find those behaviours, even if they are small at the beginning; for example, “I hate exercise but I have to do this 5-kilometre run that I set as my goal” might be better reframed to, “I hate exercise so I am going to organize walks with a friend, since socializing makes the walking more enjoyable.” Adherence can be seen as empowering.
- Self-efficacy
This is a fancy word for confidence, but also the confidence to overcome barriers. Remember above when I said that setbacks are inevitable? They are a necessary condition for learning. If you welcome setbacks as opportunities for learning, you will figure out how to adjust the behaviour to make it fit. Let’s say you change your eating habits by cooking differently at home. The first time you eat out you might find it difficult. Self-efficacy is about finding ways of dealing with barriers like this (for example, check out the menu online and choose your meal before you go to the restaurant to reduce temptations). Self-efficacy is about being flexible and compassionate, and allowing yourself to learn what works for you.
- Intrinsic motivation
The final stepping stone for success is finding the personally meaningful reasons why the behaviour is worth it to you. Healthy behaviour can be hard and require ongoing effort. If you link your personal values to your behaviour this can be useful. The question for you might be closer to, “Is this behaviour worth it to you?” more so than, “Is this behaviour fun?” Think of relationships, parenting and careers. These activities can be stressful, but they are more about their value than the amount of fun involved. I often put it this way: apples are always healthier for you than slices of apple pie. Slices of apple pie are always tastier than apples. Good luck! How do you choose apples over apple pie in this case? Well, turns out that this is not the best question. A better question is, “What is important enough in your life for you to choose apples over apple pies?” Value-based goals are associated with long-term success and overcoming barriers.
I hope this article has given you food for thought.
