Is Type 2 Diabetes Your Fault? A Nutritionist Explains » Hangry Woman®

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Understanding the Many Causes of Type 2 Diabetes

Is type 2 diabetes your fault? As a nutritionist and board-certified health and wellness coach (and someone who has personally faced a diabetes diagnosis), I want to start by saying no, it’s not your fault.

Type 2 diabetes develops because of a mix of different factors in your life and body.

Some of these factors are in your control, but many are not. For example, family history and age can play a big role in your risk, and you can’t change those. The causes of type 2 diabetes are complex – it’s a combination of genetic factors and lifestyle factors.

You might have heard that being overweight or eating “too much sugar” causes diabetes.

While weight and diet can influence your health, they are only part of the picture.

Genetics are huge: researchers have found more than 150 genes linked to type 2 diabetes¹. In fact, if one of your parents has type 2 diabetes, your own risk of developing it is about 40% (and even higher if both parents have it). ²

You can’t change your genes, and you shouldn’t blame yourself for them. Things like ethnic background or having conditions like PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) can also increase your risk. These are not things you chose or caused.

On the other hand, certain habits can reduce your risk or help manage diabetes – for instance, being active regularly and eating a balanced diet can improve blood sugar control.

The key point is that type 2 diabetes isn’t caused by one single thing you did. It’s an imbalance in how the body handles insulin and blood sugar, shaped by many influences over time.

Some you can work on (like getting exercise a few times a week), and others you simply inherited. So if you’re wondering whether you “gave yourself” diabetes, please be kind to yourself: it’s not so simple, and it’s not a personal failing.

I remember when I was first misdiagnosed with type 2 diabetes in my twenties – I went home and cried, convinced that I had ruined my health through some fault of my own.

But as I learned more, I realized that my body had been heading toward diabetes due to things beyond my immediate control (like beta cell destruction and diabetes autoantibodies and including a family history and an underlying condition that caused insulin resistance. A lot of what I thought was “my fault” turned out to be my body’s unique makeup.

Your body is unique, too, and you didn’t choose to have diabetes. Realizing this is the first step to letting go of unnecessary shame and focusing on caring for yourself.

The Stigma of Type 2 Diabetes: Blame and Shame

If you have type 2 diabetes, you might have felt judged or guilty about it.

Unfortunately, there’s a strong stigma around type 2 diabetes in our society. People often mistakenly assume that anyone with type 2 “brought it on themselves” by being lazy or overeating.

This stereotype is hurtful and inaccurate. It ignores all those other factors (like genetics or medical conditions) that can lead to diabetes.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) even notes that diabetes stigma comes from the false idea that poor choices are the sole cause, without considering family history or other factors³.

The result of this stigma is that many people with type 2 diabetes feel blame and shame – sometimes from others, and often even more from themselves.

Research shows stigma can leave people feeling excluded or judged and can make them blame themselves for having the condition. ⁴

You might think, “If only I had eaten better or exercised more, maybe I wouldn’t have diabetes,” and end up feeling like you failed.

I’ve heard these feelings from clients I coach, and I’ve felt them personally. When I was first diagnosed, I was so ashamed that I didn’t even want to tell anyone I had diabetes. I was afraid people would think I had done something “wrong” to cause it.

But here’s what I tell myself and my clients now: having type 2 diabetes is nothing to be ashamed of. Feeling guilty or hiding your condition only makes it harder to take care of yourself.

Diabetes is a medical condition – it does not mean you are bad or lazy. In fact, blaming and shaming people for diabetes is not just unkind, it’s counterproductive.

Internalizing this blame (feeling shame and guilt about yourself) can harm your mental health and even interfere with taking care of your diabetes. It can make you avoid checking your blood sugar or skip appointments because you’re afraid of judgment.

Let’s replace that shame with understanding and support. If someone ever makes you feel like your diabetes is your fault, remember that they are misinformed.

And if you’ve been blaming yourself, I invite you to give yourself grace. You didn’t ask for this illness. What matters now is how you move forward and manage it, and you don’t have to do that alone.

In my own journey, I eventually opened up about my diagnosis on my blog. The outpouring of support and the number of people saying “me too” was overwhelming. It made me realize I wasn’t alone and I certainly wasn’t a failure. Whatever you’re feeling, others with diabetes have felt it – and you deserve compassion, not blame.

Remission vs. Reversal: It’s Not as Simple as It Sounds

You might have heard people (or even doctors or ads) talk about “reversing” type 2 diabetes. Some folks claim that with a special diet, supplement, or weight loss program, you can cure type 2 diabetes. As a health coach, I often get asked: “Can I reverse this? Can I make it go away completely?”

The reality is a bit complicated. There is no outright cure for diabetes at this time. However, people with type 2 diabetes can sometimes reach remission.

Remission means your blood sugar levels return to a normal (non-diabetic) range without needing diabetes medications.

This is an amazing achievement and can greatly improve your health. But remission doesn’t mean your diabetes is completely gone forever. It’s not like it never existed or that you can forget about it. Think of it like cancer going into remission – you have to stay vigilant, because it could come back.

In fact, diabetes experts agree that the term “reversal” isn’t the best way to describe this situation.

The American Diabetes Association and other major organizations prefer the term “remission.”⁵ Why?

Because saying “reversed” or “cured” can be misleading. It suggests the diabetes is 100% gone and will never return, which isn’t the case if someone falls back into unhealthy habits or if their body’s predisposition kicks in again.

If a person in remission starts to eat a very high-carbohydrate diet again or regains weight (or even just as they age), their blood sugar can rise back to diabetic levels.

That’s why doctors talk about remission – it implies you need to keep up the healthy changes to maintain it.

Also, remission isn’t easy or even possible for everyone with type 2 diabetes.

You might see success stories online of people who got their A1c (average blood sugar) down to normal without meds.

Those stories are inspiring, but remember that every individual is different. Research shows that not everyone can achieve remission, and even for those who do, it might not last forever.

In clinical studies, people who achieved remission usually went through very intensive programs – like a strict diet under medical supervision, significant weight loss, or even bariatric surgery. Those are big undertakings!

In real life, it can be much harder to replicate those results without a lot of support.

I’ve had clients ask me, “Did I fail because I haven’t reversed my diabetes?” Absolutely not! Managing diabetes is not all-or-nothing.

Improving your blood sugar and health is incredibly valuable, whether or not you reach full remission. Some people can reduce the amount of medication they need, others keep steady with the same regimen – these are all wins.

There’s no quick fix or magic cure, and that’s okay. Don’t get discouraged by bold claims you see online. If something sounds too good to be true (“never test your blood sugar again!” or “throw away your meds in 2 weeks!”), approach it with caution.

Sustainable changes and working with your healthcare team is the safest way to better health.

Remember, your worth is not measured by achieving remission. Any positive step you take – like changing your breakfast to be lower in carbs, or walking a little more each day – is progress to be proud of.

Focus on feeling better and improving your health, not on the label of “reversed” or “not reversed.” You’re not a failure if you need medication or if your diabetes remains a part of your life.

Most people with type 2 diabetes will manage it for life, sometimes with ups and downs. And that’s okay! You’re doing what you need to do to take care of yourself, and that’s something to celebrate.

Type 2 vs. Type 1: Why Comparing “Who Has It Worse” Doesn’t Help

Another source of confusion (and sometimes stigma) is the comparison between type 1 and type 2 diabetes.

You might have heard people say things like “At least you don’t have the bad kind of diabetes” or “Type 2 is the worst kind.” There’s a lot of misunderstanding in those statements. The truth is, type 1 and type 2 are different conditions with similar impacts – neither is “better” or “worse” than the other in a way that matters to the people living with them.

People with type 1 must take insulin every day to live, because their pancreas isn’t producing it. Type 2 diabetes, on the other hand, typically develops in adults (though more kids are getting it now too) and involves the body not responding to insulin properly (insulin resistance) and often not making enough insulin over time.

People with type 2 might manage with lifestyle changes and pills at first, and some eventually need insulin as well.

Both types are serious and require careful management. Saying one is “worse” doesn’t really make sense. If type 1 isn’t managed, a person can get very sick very quickly (high blood sugar in type 1 can cause a dangerous condition called ketoacidosis).

If type 2 isn’t managed over time, it can lead to complications like heart disease, nerve damage, or kidney problems. Both types can lead to complications if not treated properly, and both can be managed and lived with successfully with the right care. Neither type is a “walk in the park.”

I have a unique perspective because I was originally diagnosed with type 2, but later found out I actually have a form of type 1 (LADA – latent autoimmune diabetes in adults). I’ve lived with aspects of both worlds. And let me tell you, no one “has it easy” with diabetes.

My friends with type 1 face things I didn’t, like dosing insulin from day one and worrying about low blood sugar often. My friends with type 2 face challenges like dealing with stigma and the assumption that they did something to “deserve” diabetes.

Instead of debating which type is worse, we should focus on supporting everyone with diabetes.

Comparing struggles can make people feel like their pain isn’t valid – and that’s not fair. If you have type 2, you shouldn’t feel like your condition is dismissed as “not serious” or conversely feel like you’re being judged as having the “bad kind.”

If you have type 1, you shouldn’t feel like people minimize what you go through either.

All types of diabetes are challenging, and all people with diabetes deserve empathy and care.

The bottom line: diabetes is hard, period. It’s not a competition.

Let’s not pit type 1 and type 2 against each other. Each person’s experience will be different, but we’re all in the same larger community and can understand the dedication it takes to manage this disease.

Finding Support and Moving Forward

Managing diabetes can feel overwhelming, especially with all the misconceptions out there. The good news is, you don’t have to do it alone. In fact, getting support can make a huge difference in how you feel and how well you manage your blood sugar. Here are some ways to find the help and encouragement you deserve:

1. Consider Health Coaching or Education: Working with a Board Certified diabetes health coach or educator can provide you personalized guidance and moral support. A health coach (like myself) can help you set realistic goals, navigate day-to-day challenges, and celebrate your progress.

Coaching is all about you – your goals and what works in your life. There’s evidence that health coaching can truly help people with type 2 diabetes: one study found that after 6 months of working with a coach, people had a significant drop in their A1C (a measure of blood sugar control) and improved their eating habits.⁶

Coaches don’t replace your doctors, but they add a layer of support that can keep you motivated and on track. Personally, I’ve seen my clients gain confidence and make sustainable changes through coaching. They often tell me it feels great to have someone in their corner, rather than trying to figure everything out alone.

2. Use Helpful Tools (like a Glucose Guide): Keeping track of what you eat and how it affects your blood sugar can be really enlightening. Some people use a food diary or apps to log their meals and glucose readings. Find a system that isn’t too burdensome for you – even jotting down notes about meals and moods can help you see patterns.

I actually created a resource called The Diabetes Food Journal for this very purpose. Glucose Guide is a free web and mobile app that offers diabetes meal tracking, coaching, resources, recipes, and a supportive community for people looking for help managing diabetes. (I made it with love as someone living with the condition, and it’s free to join.)

Using a tool like this can turn managing diabetes from a confusing chore into a more guided experience.

For example, in the app you can track your meals and blood sugar, and even get tips or recipe ideas.

Whether you use Glucose Guide or another method, having a “glucose guide” (i.e. a structured way to track and learn about your blood sugar) can empower you.

It’s less about “monitoring for mistakes” and more about learning what works for your body.

3. Join a Supportive Community: Connecting with others who understand can ease that loneliness or shame you might feel. This could be an in-person support group, a diabetes community online, or even a Facebook group. Sharing experiences, tips, and just venting with people in the same boat reminds you that you’re not alone (and that needing help or having a tough day is completely normal).

On the Hangry Woman platform, for instance, we have the Glucose Guide Community – a free online community where members swap stories and encouragement daily.

Find a community that feels positive and safe for you. Sometimes just reading others’ posts about their day with diabetes can make you feel seen and understood.

4. Educate Your Friends and Family: Stigma often comes from lack of knowledge. If you have people close to you who don’t “get it” about diabetes, consider sharing some of what you’ve learned with them.

You could show them this post or explain that “Hey, my diabetes isn’t because I ate too much sugar. There are a lot of factors, like genetics, that you might not know about.”

Bringing loved ones into your journey can help them support you better. You don’t have to turn into a diabetes professor overnight – even a simple conversation can open someone’s eyes.

And if someone is truly negative or unsupportive despite your efforts, remember that you get to set boundaries to protect your mental health.

5. Be Kind to Yourself: Support isn’t just external – it’s also about how you treat yourself. Talk to yourself as you would to a good friend. If a friend was diagnosed with diabetes, would you blame them? Of course not! You’d probably reassure them that it’s not their fault and that they can handle this.

You deserve the same kindness from yourself. Celebrate small wins (like taking a walk, or saying no to that second slice of cake, or even just getting through a rough day). And when things don’t go perfectly – maybe your blood sugar was high this morning, or you’re not losing weight as quickly as you hoped – don’t beat yourself up.

Diabetes management is a long journey with ups and downs. What matters is that you keep going and get the support you need along the way.

Final Thoughts: Type 2 diabetes is NOT your fault. It’s a condition that happens due to a mix of genes, environment, and yes, some lifestyle aspects – but no one decides to have diabetes, and no one should be made to feel ashamed of it.

Instead of asking “Who’s to blame?”, let’s ask “How can we manage this and live the healthiest life possible?”

I hope this post has made you feel a little more informed and a lot more understood.

If you take away one thing, let it be this: You are not a bad person because you have type 2 diabetes.

You’re simply a person who has a challenging condition, and you’re doing your best to deal with it. And that is something to be proud of. With knowledge, support, and self-compassion, you can thrive with diabetes.

You’ve got this. And if you ever feel lost or down, remember that there’s a whole community (myself included) ready to help you back up. You are never alone in this journey.

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