In recent years, there has been significant public alarm over the increasing cases of stealthing (i.e., removing a condom covertly during sexual intercourse without the other party’s consent or knowledge). This is a sexual offense with severe physical, psychological, and emotional consequences for victims.
Fortunately, stealthing is classified as a criminal offense in countries like Germany, the United Kingdom, Switzerland, and Canada.
What Is Stealthing?
Stealthing, which translates to “covertly” or “secretly,” is the act of removing a condom during sexual intercourse without the other person’s consent, misleading them into believing it is still being used.
The term was coined by American lawyer Alexandra Brodsky in an article published in the Columbia Journal of Gender and Law. She revealed that the essence of stealthing lies in the deceit that violates the other participant’s consent and trust, undermining their sexual autonomy and safety. Brodsky stated,
“If someone consents to a specific sexual act with the use of contraception, and you unilaterally change the terms of that agreement mid-act, it is a sexual offense.”
Legal Requirements of Stealthing as an Offense
In Spain, the Provincial Court of Madrid sentenced a man to two years in prison for sexual abuse after he engaged in sexual intercourse without a condom, despite agreeing to use one. The case was classified as stealthing, described as the “subtle removal, omission, or failure to use a condom during all or part of a sexual encounter, despite it being agreed upon or required by the partner as a condition for consent.”
In this case, the woman consented to sexual relations under the condition that a condom would be used. By covertly removing it, the man violated her consent, resulting in a non-consensual act that infringed upon her sexual freedom.
For stealthing to be considered sexual abuse (or sexual assault under current legal terms), it must involve a mutual agreement to use a condom, and one party removes it without the other’s consent, through “deceit, concealment, or covert action,” pretending to still wear it.
Legal Consequences of Stealthing
In 2021, California became the first U.S. state to pass a law incriminating stealthing – a handful of states have since followed suit. The remaining states who don’t yet have direct laws about stealthing can prosecute it under other statutes such as sexual assault or battery.
Additionally, stealthing may be prosecuted as an assault if the perpetrator has a sexually transmitted infection (STI) and knowingly infects their partner by removing the condom.
If you or someone you know has experienced stealthing, consult a legal professional to explore your options.
Causes of Stealthing
Although this practice is not new, it gained widespread attention in 2021 when influencer Naim Darrechi boasted online about deceiving his partners by falsely claiming to be sterile to avoid using a condom. His reasoning? “I can’t, it’s too difficult with a condom. So I never use one. At some point, I thought, ‘It’s strange I haven’t gotten anyone pregnant after all these years.’”
This “difficulty with condoms” is a common excuse, often accompanied by statements like “I don’t feel anything,” “I don’t like it,” or “It’s too tight.” Given that condoms like HEX (the thinnest on the market) are just 0.045 mm thick—twice as thin as a human hair—and the risks of pregnancy and severe STI consequences, these excuses are infuriating.
Another motive for stealthing is a sense of entitlement to “spread one’s seed.” Alexandra Brodsky’s 2017 study analyzed online forums where men encouraged each other to remove condoms without their partners’ consent. The primary justification was that ejaculating inside women was a “natural male right.”
This notion has a disturbing double implication: tampering with contraception to cause pregnancy without consent, and the patriarchal idea of women as objects of male pleasure, devoid of autonomy. Stealthing becomes a form of power assertion, punishment, or humiliation.
Consequences for Victims of Stealthing
The most evident consequences are unwanted pregnancies or STIs (such as gonorrhea, chlamydia, or HIV), with all the associated physical and emotional impacts. Victims interviewed by Brodsky reported feeling a profound violation of their sexual integrity, linked to fears of these outcomes.
Another deeply damaging consequence is the sense of being violated—of their bodies, autonomy, and dignity. Many victims need psychological therapy to overcome the trauma, especially when the act was committed by a trusted friend or stable partner.
How To Prevent and Address Stealthing
Prevention
- Inspect the condom before sexual activity to ensure it is intact.
- Check periodically during intercourse to confirm it hasn’t been removed.
- If possible, bring your own condoms and apply them yourself.
- Consider using a female condom, which is wider, thinner, pre-lubricated, and offers additional protection against STIs. It can also be inserted hours before intercourse and worn until after ejaculation without losing effectiveness.
What To So if It Happens
- Report it immediately. Call emergency services or law enforcement (the National Sexual Assault Hotline is available 24 hours at +1 (800) 656-4673). They will protect you, provide medical and psychological support, and collect evidence for prosecution.
- Seek medical attention. Even if you don’t report the incident, request emergency contraception, STI tests, and psychological support.
- Don’t blame yourself. The fault lies entirely with the perpetrator, not you. Seek solidarity from professionals and support groups.
Stealthing is a violation of consent, autonomy, and trust. By addressing it legally and socially, we can protect victims and hold offenders accountable.
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