Anger Issues: Key Signs and Solutions

It’s normal to experience anger from time to time. People tend to think anger is mostly negative, but it can be useful. Feeling angry can push you to advocate for your needs and make necessary changes in your life.

However, long-term anger that is not dealt with can become an issue, affecting your mental health and quality of life. Uncontrolled anger can also lead to interpersonal problems.

Anger can emotionally feel like annoyance, irritation, indignation, bitterness, rage, or fury. Anger isn’t just emotional; it can have physical effects like increased heart rate, sweating, a clenched jaw, and elevated blood pressure. Inside your body, stress response hormones like adrenaline increase.

Anger can take several forms. Some people let it fester inside them, while others are more likely to take their anger out on others.

Internal Anger

Anger is an unpleasant emotion that is often considered not socially acceptable to express. That’s why many people hold anger inside, known as internalizing anger. Anger turned inward tends to build and is linked to depression and physical health issues like high blood pressure.

External Anger

Someone with externalized anger may be prone to yelling, seem easily irritated, and appear to be fuming constantly. Externalizing your anger can often cause problems in interpersonal relationships and the workplace. At times, it can lead to emotionally or physically abusive behavior.

Passive Aggression

Holding in your anger for long periods can lead to passive-aggressive behavior, when your anger comes out in less confrontational ways. You may not yell or become physically aggressive, but you may constantly criticize people, make negative comments, or create scenarios that are harmful to people you are mad at.

Anger in Children

In children, anger may look like emotional meltdowns and temper tantrums. These tantrums may involve kicking, screaming, and stomping. Episodes of externalized anger can be normal during the toddler years and through preschool. They typically start to decrease as a child gets older.

Many factors and scenarios can cause anger to develop. What causes anger for one person may not be what causes anger for another.

Anger is often considered a secondary emotion, meaning it arises in response to primary emotions like fear, pain, sadness, shame, and stress.

Mental Health Issues

At times, anger is linked to a mental health issue you are having, or it may be a symptom of a mental health condition. Mental health conditions associated with anger include:

• Depression
• Anxiety
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
• Panic disorder
• Agoraphobia (fear of places or situations where escape might be difficult)
• Personality disorders, including borderline personality disorder (BPD)

Drugs and Alcohol

You may be more prone to anger if you take illicit drugs or consume alcohol frequently. Alcohol use disorder is strongly linked to anger and aggression, likely due to changes in the brain that occur when alcohol is abused.

Life Circumstances

Some life circumstances may increase the chances that you’ll experience anger. For example, you’re more likely to experience anger if:

• You’re younger, as older age is associated with lower levels of anger
• You’ve had a history of childhood abuse or neglect
• You’ve experienced traumatic events, especially during childhood

Specific Scenarios and Triggers

Certain scenarios in life are more likely to cause feelings of anger in people. These include:

• Annoyances while driving, such as traffic
• Lack of sleep
• Hunger
• Physical pain
• Social rejection and social stress
• Social isolation
• Feelings of rejection and the desire for revenge
• Feelings of frustration with any person or scenario

Anger can lead to many unwanted consequences, especially when untreated and poorly managed. These can include:

• Mental health issues: Anger can have a strong impact on your emotional and mental health. It can lead to bad decision-making and increase your risk for mental health conditions like depression. Anger may also increase your risk of suicidal thoughts.
• Problematic behaviors: Anger can lead to hostile behavior, problems at work, and difficulty getting along with others. At times, it can lead to criminal behaviors. Untreated anger is usually a factor in domestic abuse.
• Relationship issues: Anger can cause you to be hurtful to others, leading to problems in your relationships. Mental health conditions stemming from untreated anger may also negatively impact relationships. In the worst cases, anger can lead to episodes of emotional or physical abuse in relationships.
• Physical health conditions: Anger can have significant effects on your body, including increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, and potential risk for long-term blood vessel dysfunction and heart disease.

If you are experiencing anger issues, it’s important to work on managing your anger. The best way to manage anger is to seek therapy. Look for a therapist with experience treating anger and who you feel comfortable with.

Therapy

Several types of therapy can effectively treat anger. The most widely used are:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): This form of talk therapy involves identifying the thought processes that trigger your anger and then implementing methods to notice those thoughts and manage your anger.
• Mindfulness-based therapy: This encourages you to become more mindful of your angry feelings and triggers, and then use mindfulness techniques to react in a more appropriate way.

Anger Management Tips

In addition to therapy, there are some techniques you can implement to react more calmly to the things that trigger your anger. Here are a few expert-recommended tips:

• Learn to recognize the signs that you are becoming angry, and then step away for a second so that you can react more calmly
• Try not to dwell too deeply on the incident or circumstance that made you angry
• Try to avoid continually rehashing situations from the past that make you angry
• Move away from extreme statements like, “Everything is terrible”; instead, try statements like, “This is hard, but I can get through it”
• Try to stay away from words like “never” or “always”
• When possible, use logic and rationality to analyze situations
• Learn relaxation techniques like deep breathing, relaxing imagery, and mindfulness meditation
• Learn what your triggers are and try to stay away from them when possible
• Stay physically active, which can help you decompress and decrease tension
• Take a breath before speaking, and ask yourself if what you are about to say will be said in anger

Various scenarios might be a clue that you or someone in your life needs help with anger:

• If you or a loved one is experiencing anger that feels intense or out of control
• If anger is making it difficult to function in daily life
• If anger is causing problems in relationships
• If anger is causing aggressive behaviors
• If anger is causing emotional or physical abuse
• If anger is causing mental health issues or intense feelings of depression or anxiety
• If you or a loved one is having trouble managing this anger on your own

If you have a child who is experiencing intense bouts of anger, especially anger that makes it difficult for them to function at home or school, you should connect with your pediatrician. They can help determine what is causing the angry episodes and what other professionals might need to help your child manage their anger.

If your partner is experiencing anger that has become abusive, you should encourage them to seek immediate mental health help. However, it’s also important to protect yourself and your family. If you have experienced domestic abuse, call the National Domestic Abuse hotline at 1-888-799-7233 or text START to 88788. It’s free and confidential.

Untreated and unmanaged anger can lead to mental health issues, make it difficult for you to function, cause work problems, and impact your interpersonal relationships.

Serious cases of untreated anger can lead to domestic abuse, violence, and emotional abuse.

It’s important to seek treatment if your anger is getting out of control. Therapy and other techniques can help you effectively manage your anger.